Ramblings of a Wrestling Fan: It’s A Conspiracy!
I’m getting straight to the point. I feel like last night’s Raw was – no. Scratch that. I’m sure that I died a little for every precious second that I wasted watching last night’s Raw. To make matters worse, Tom Brady threw the game last night enlarging the egos of said Saint’s players. I…am not happy right now.
“IT’S A CONSPIRACY!”
Yeah, I know wise, inner child. Much like last night’s Raw.
Kofi Kingston
If it wasn’t for Kofi Kingston and Legacy, Raw would have completely fallen off the deep end. When I saw that one of the matches for the evening was Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton, I was praying that Vince wouldn’t allow this match to happen on free TV. He didn’t, which was great. Fellow Legacy members Cody and Teddy ambushed Kofi right before the match resulting in a very quick squash match between Kofi and Randy. With a RKO, Randy pinned Kofi cleanly winning the match. I’m not sure if I like that fact, but I’ll give it a chance. The WWE seems to be doing right by this build up so I won’t knock any part of it just yet unless…
“IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!”
My inner child has spoken.
Jerishow vs. DX
Credit: PrincessBlackRabbit at deviantART
I swear to you I’m going to be royally pissed off if DX wins the belts from Jerishow. If they win, my inner paranoid 12 year old will shout “IT’S A CONSPIRACY!”
There are so many things wrong with a DX win. First of all, who really gives a shit that DX hasn’t won the tag belts? At this stage in their career it’s really no big deal. Triple H has 13 WWE title holds to brag about while Shawn has had MOTY every year since 2003. Do you (WWE) really believe they care about holding onto the very belts you guys just all of a sudden started caring about? Do you think we care? I don’t.
In fact, I would rather see HBK get that last title run than being forced to endure PG DX twice a week on Raw AND Smackdown. How much longer are you (WWE) going to use two of your most valuable veterans to push merchandise when they could be making new stars? I know I’m pissing off a lot of DX fans, but I don’t care. I DESPISE it (DX) right now. It’s time for change and DX is part of the past we need to put behind us. (Not to mention the PG rating ruins the very principles DX was formed on anyway.)
“IT’S A CONSPIRACY! THE OLD DX NEVER WOULD HAVE STOOD FOR THIS!”
Calm down inner child. Those two aren’t spring chickens anymore.
“But I thought NO ONE told DX what to do, say, or wear? You know, ‘We’re DX. You make the rules and we break ‘em?’ I thought they were above the system. Beyond it. They-”
Are not the Men in Black. Inner child, you’ve got the wrong guys. Jay and Kay are MIB. These guys you’re talking about wear lots of green each night while waving their glow sticks around like 8 year olds. Only exclusive DX Army members get them too. I so wanted some…
“Yeah, yeah. So this isn’t the real DX is it?”
Unfortunately, it is.
“You mean the same DX that made me laugh in 2006?”
Yep.
“IT’S A CONSPIRACY!”
DX in court. Apparently they lost. (Credit: adonis21gr on deviantART)
I’m starting to think so too. Moving on…
I cannot praise Chris Jericho enough. Say what you want you stupid Kurt Angle marks, but Jericho is God. He put on a decent match last night with HHH, both guys looking their best. We saw some good reversals and though I think Chris should have won the match, it was still well executed.
Jericho gets even more points for the opening segment. I don’t know about you guys but DX seemed a little off. Their part of the talking came off as forced and awkward to me which resulted in Jericho saving the segment. Way to go Chris! DX can play to the dead ass Baltimore crowd all they want to, but Raw would SUCK without Jericho. Vince, do us all a favor and keep Chris on Raw. That or turn Shawn heel.
And about this TLC match, I am NOT happy at all. Jericho has been working his ass off doing two shows while Shawn’s not the most durable body in the WWE right now. That being said, why the hell are they competing in a match that will require the two of them to take all the bumps since their counterparts cannot?
We all know Show’s not climbing a ladder while Triple H is injury prone. One wrong fall for him and he’s out for another 9 months which means he’ll be relying heavily on Shawn for most of the dangerous parts.
Jericho and Shawn will no doubt spend most of their time getting the bumps selling like mad because that’s what they do. Anything could go wrong even if they are in the ring with safe guys. I don’t like this. Unlike Vince, I actually care about the well being of his “independent contractorsâ€. He’ll have one less fan for life if Shawn gets put out of commission. Same goes for Jericho.
Cena
I have spent many a times defending John Cena. I mean, he IS a good worker and they (WWE) couldn’t have picked a better person C.M. Punk to be the face of the new WWE. Cena doesn’t do anything wrong. Works hard. Says everything the politically correct way. Sells a shitload of tickets/merchandise. Lover of all things kids and charity. Just perfect in every way for the new generation of Raw viewers. So now can someone please explain to me why I cannot stand him?
“IT’S A CONSPIRACY!”
Uh…thanks inner child.
I mean every time I see him on my box I start twitching and squeezing my pillow in fury. I hate everything from his stupid orange shirt that reminds me of Naruto from his “I-think-WWE-fans-are-deaf†promos. Carlito’s words are a win for me but we all know that his rising from the dead was just for one night. He’ll disappear into the ashes, much like Festus or Chris Masters.
And while we’re talking about Cena, I think I should bring up the whole “locker-room-hate-Cena” angle they’re pursuing. I don’t really know where they’re going with it but a lot of people are immediately thinking Cena heel turn. Apparently he’s going to get sick of everyone hating him and use that as an excuse to turn all black and white Hogan on us. You guys keep thinking that. I’ll believe a Cena heel turn when I see it with my own two eyes provided I’m not dead by the time it happens.
Nothing else to say except I hope he and Sheamus can deliver. I’m still trying to buy into Sheamus being worthy of a WWE title shot especially since he hasn’t done anything to really earn it. He’s aggressive enough and he wasn’t half bad on the mic but that doesn’t make him qualified to win anything right now. I can remember a time when it took guys eight years before being considered good enough to have a shot at the belt. Times have changed. Sucks for me but it is what it is.
Divas
They still suck. Maryse is TERRIBLE on the mic but she makes up for it by being the best looking Diva on the roster. Melina…I’m sick of her screeching and we all know Gail Kim is a better wrestler than her. Why she can’t sniff a title shot is beyond me.
Other Thoughts:
I love/hate being right. Raw is STILL hit and miss. I swear…is this going to continue for another year? If so, consider me officially done with Raw. As much as I love HBK I refuse to endure this shit for another year. Raw sucks ass every other week and the sad part about it is that people (like me) continue to support it by watching and offering ways to improve it. Silly me. The other thing that burns me up is that it’s not like Vince is stupid. He knows which shows were wins so why not take what you know will work and stick with it rather than giving us BS every other week? Some of these guest hosts don’t give a damn about wrestling and if they did then mistakes like “Summerfest” and “Kofi Johnson” would never happen.
(Credit: chosen71 at deviantART)
Verne was absolutely horrible. I’m not sure what to make of any of his segments besides the fact that they probably appealed to little girls all around the globe. Mark Henry should put a bag over his head for the rest of his WWE career.
Al Sharpton would have probably preached the word after Henry’s attempt at a rap career. In case you didn’t know creative, all black people can’t spit rhymes. (Mike B, they’re really pushing their luck with me. Damn stereotypes.)
Back to DX…Is everyone on the Raw roster turning into motivational speakers? Just what the hell was up with Trip’s line about a “revolutionary†DX that “won’t quit†(in so many words) during the opening segment? They’re starting to sound like Cena which really burns me up. ANYBODY but G.I. Joe Cena.
I was actually looking forward to the disaster that would have been DX in Midget Court. Call me crazy, but I’m sure it would have been so painful that my side would have split from laughing so hard. Either that or I’d be in a mental health facility screaming “why so serious” at the top of my lungs while stabbing everyone who looks like they were in on the conspiracy.
I’m sure DX got the script last night and actually grew a set by telling creative off. Boss or not, Vince’s not going to fire the one guy who actually made WM25 memorable nor is he going to fire the guy who’s theoretically taking over his empire one day. Great job DX! If Raw was this bad without the segment, I shudder to think what it would have been like with it. How many times must I say it? Swoggle is FAIL.
I don’t bother to rant much about the PG rating. I have come to terms that this is the direction the WWE is going and so I’m dealing with it. Besides, I can always watch UFC, which totally pwns in every which way these days. Blood and good matches. Can’t beat that. I think from now on, I’ll just turn Raw on for the kiddies while I pop in my 90’s DVD to relive the days of actual wrestling rather than “sport’s entertainmentâ€. I thought about burning Jesse Ventura for all the smart ass statements he made dissing Raw after he was a guest host but I decided not to. Why? Because he’s right.
Oh well…
In other news, the Slammy Awards are coming up. I will be posting my thoughts about the Slammy’s soon giving you my reasons why certain people should win or should fail to get the award. In the meantime, happy bitching because that’s all you can do for now. I was pissed. I felt like bitching. I did. And now I’m done.
–Tenechia
The thoughts and opinions in this article are those of the writer, me. They do not necessarily represent the opinions of TWD as a whole so direct all your hate mail to yours truly. I would also like to take a moment to thank Vince McMahon, Hornswoggle, stupid marks, and Ray Bogusz for awakening my inner child. My life will never be the same again. Also be sure to fan us on Facebook, friend us on Myspace and follow us on Twitter.
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Good article. melina pisses me off with all her screeching as well. Before she does a sunset flip bomb, she screeches and takes away the cool part of the bomb. i say the next diva who is going to get the bomb should fall back and see what she does while screeching.
Ha Ha Thanks. I was ill so don’t mind me. I was just letting weeks of frustration out.
The Divas could be so much better. Both Jillian and Gail are WAY better wrestlers than they appear to be on TV. Why Vince won’t try to put TNA’s Knockout Division to shame is beyond me.
TNA isn’t competition. Let’s be honest, you’d rather see Kelly Kelly than ODB’s better wrestling skills.
TNA has Kong. That’s all I need right there. Kong, Tara, Sarita, Hamada…those women kick ass. Forget OBD. Those four that I just named still trumps all WWE has to offer. (I love you Gail, Beth, Nattie and Mickie but if you can’t actually showcase what you really can do, TNA wins every time.)
And as far as eye candy is concerned, of course (if I was remotely interested or actually gave a damn what the women looked like) WWE Divas trump TNA’s Knockouts. I’d probably think differently though if Maryse left the WWE to replace Lacy von Erich in the Beautiful People. -_-
Here screech is sexy to me.
i don’t know that i find “here screech” sexy… but SEXY IS DEFINITELY a word that i would use 2 describe “HERE”! i AM WITH U there, Kev! Sometimes, i don’t feel like i can get ENOUGH of “Here”! ESPECIALLY “HERE” RING ENTRANCE, RIGHT!?!
I agree in theory that Y2J should have won the match… but then we would have gotten Trips vs. Jerishow… it will be much more fun with Jericho as the loner.
You’re right. Can’t wait to see how Jericho sells it too.
It’s better this way because Big Show gets a chance to rest his injured knee. Hopefully he’ll be well rested enough to be involved in some big spots of the TLC match… if he can climb the ladder…
“I cannot praise Chris Jericho enough. Say what you want you stupid Kurt Angle marks, but Jericho is God.”
Oh my stars. Yes.
I’ve been lookin forward to this all day. Raw is becoming bad version of Saturday night live with some of the segments they have now. I was watching some of Cena’s matches when he first came to the WWE and when he was in OVW and some of them weren’t half bad. Makes ya wonder what happened. With the guest host thing, they should either stick with WWE legends and people who know the business or drop the thing all together.
I had to enjoy Jesse Ventura last week. Even though some of the things he said were a little uncalled for, you can’t deny they were true.
Oh yeah. Raw has always been more of a soap opera than anything else but it used to be the kind of soap that you would skip a hot date for. Nowadays I’m constantly praying there’s a good football game on and it’s a shame. The thing that really bugs the hell out of me is that it’s not bad every week. It’s every OTHER week. It’s like they know which guests will suck and so they try to make up for it every other week. It drives me crazy!
I’m not a big fan of the PG rating because wrestling is supposed to be barbaric, bloody, and manly. Nowadays a kid could probably get in the ring with no talent and become WWE Champion which is wrong on so many levels. I’m still waiting for Swoggle to win the belt. When that day comes, I am done. While the PG rating sucks for us adults, the WWE proves that every other week they can put on a damn good show and keep us entertained the entire time with a PG rating. I just dont understand why continuity is so hard for people who’ve been doing this for years.
Cena, Orton, Batista, Lesnar, and Shelton Benjamin all were in OVW at the exact same time. I watched Cena on his My Life DVD and he was on Batista’s recently released DVD briefly. He wasn’t half bad. Rough but not horrible. He didn’t scream during all his promos. In fact they were all very entertaining and original. “The Prototype” is what he called himself.
Jesse Ventura kind of worked my nerves with his ESPN interview dissing McMahon but I can’t deny that he wasn’t speaking the truth. One of our site founders Jason LeBlanc posted a very interesting read that was to address Kurt Angle fans. In the piece however, he managed to tie it in with McMahon’s disregard for the health of his workers with his bogus “independent contractor’s” clause. That’s why I’m so worried about Jericho and Shawn. All the wrestlers get a rough deal and its a wonder some of them don’t end up in asylums from taking so many pain pills.
Thanks for hanging around and checking us out. Sometimes I use this column to speak of the good things but after last night’s Raw and my near death experience I needed to rant about the ugly.
If you haven’t checked out Jason’s column “The S.C.O.R.E” it’s worth the read. It has the details of WWE contracts. You might find it interesting.
“I think from now on, I’ll just turn Raw on for the kiddies while I pop in my 90’s DVD to relive the days of actual wrestling rather than “sport’s entertainmentâ€
Dude, sports entertainment has been Vince’s bread and butter since the 80s. And WWE has MUCH better wrestlers now than they did back then. Sports entertainment isn’t exactly a newer concept.
Also, I’d say the reason this PG version of DX is still around is because, PG or not, the casual fans love DX. Those glow sticks you see in the crowd don’t sell themselves.
I’m not sure about that, Rob. In a way, those glowsticks *do* sell themselves.
They wrestled more in the 90s. They had Bret, Shawn, Razor, Owen, Mr. Perfect…Those are the guys I grew up on and while it was sport’s entertainment, they also included actual wrestling on the programming that lasted more than 3 minutes a match. That’s what I meant.
And I don’t care if the casual fan likes DX. I am sick of DX and will continue to be until Shawn’s not sporting a DX garter around his thigh, glow sticks, and Hunter at his side.
Not to disagree, but in the 90’s, at least the part that you’re referring to, there were plenty of “Squash” matches with jobbers. Most of the matches on Raw were these, with maybe one or two main event type matches.
Good to see the “Italicized Disembodied Narrative Voice” made a brief comeback tonight.
You really hit it on the head with the Divas being “subpar”…well…Raw’s divas anyway.
SD Divas >>> Raw
Mainly Mickie, Nattie, and Beth.
Great read. I love the thought that all this surface stuff we see is really some kind of mirror to the conspiracies that transpire behind closed doors. I have to agree that RAW was a miss. I didn’t even realize how persistent this off-on pattern has been with RAW until you pointed it out. Still, I thought there were things to take away from it. I particularly liked the Carlito segment, but…yeah, nothing leads us to believe that direction has any legs. It reminded me a little of the Invasion days, though.
The really interesting thought I had came watching Jericho and HHH. I’ve been wondering this for a bit, and I’d love your thoughts. Jericho made some noise awhile back about the necessity of new talent and the concurrent stepping aside of the big names, especially HHH. After those remarks, Jericho ends up in a program with DX, and it makes me wonder: whose winning the behind the doors booking contest? We know Jericho has a hand in his booking, but Heir Happarent Helmsley is who he is. So who made this match? Given said comments by Y2J, I hesitate to think it’s a mutually agreed upon thing. Then again, maybe HHH read the TWD 50 and realized Jericho’s the only guy who could make him look incredible into retirement, so he’s planning on only wrestling Jericho from now on.
With all the new talent getting rubs, you’d think Jericho’s being heard back stage, but is he really selfless enough to put himself in a the kind of grueling program this seems to be becoming? Maybe he is. Maybe he is just that good of a superstar.
Yep. It’s been like this since ZZ Top. Every other Raw has been uninteresting. Sure it’ll have it’s good spots but from an overall standpoint, it’s usually pretty bad.
Did anyone else notice how all the matches with the exception of the main event seemed to be squash matches? O.O
And Jericho has been pretty open about the current state of Raw. Even his tweets sometimes hint at things. Not so much as his interviews though. I have often wondered about his backstage power. I would think despite some of his outspokenness Vince wouldn’t just blatantly punish him. Chris has been working more than a lot of others doing two, sometimes three shows a week. I know it’s draining not to mention he’s constantly trying to promote his band on the side.
Now whether or not he pissed off a few people is beyond me. I’m certain DX has a certain degree of booking power and like you, I suspect it’s more than Chris’ due to it being the son-n-law and Vince’s Wrestlemania paycheck in Shawn.
I don’t know about you but their segment seemed awkward, and maybe I was reading too much into it but none of the guys looked remotely interested in what they were doing. If it wasn’t for Show being injured my inner child would love to scream “CONSPIRACY!” but this may be the only choice they have for now if Show can’t wrestle. DX having the belts is just as good as Jerishow having them. Whoever takes them from DX will get over but like I said before, I don’t like the idea of DX twice a week. Once is more than enough to stomach sometimes.
Jericho IS that damn good, moreso than Hunter. If HHH wrestled Chris 40 times I bet you Chris could make it interesting each and every time. Younger talent is slowly starting to get over and Chris may be part of the big reason why. As for DX, Shawn has said in recent interviews that they need to get younger talent over. So has Hunter but like you, a lot of things that are going on now makes you wonder where the power truly lies behind the closed doors.
I’ll talk this over some more with my inner child. Maybe by TLC we will have figured this out. Thanks for commenting!
Haha, Naruto makes an appearance in a wrestling article, sweet!
Cena does try to deafen us with his screaming out of the blue. Ugh!
I don’t think DX will win because of the fact that the tag champs have to travel to all shows. Then again, Show just had surgery, so…
Naruto so owns…well…Neji does anyway. Sasuke needs to DIE DIE DIE!!!! Much like Cena’s gimmick -_-
I know. With Show being hurt this puts Jerishow in a really bad predicament. They were going so strong too. Ugh! I’m not liking the situation at all.
You don’t like Sasuke!? Sasuke rocks! So does Rock Lee and Kiba.
I still think that JeriShow retains, though. Show did work a match post-surgery, so we’ll see.
t u are awesome!!!!! i think im actually happy my dvr did not record raw…it must have a SUCK sensor on there and just deleted raw…..but u know on wwe u want stupidity and 8 year old u watch raw…u want halfway decent stuff u watch smackdown and if u wanna see younger talent and grossly underused superstars(CC and shelton)u watch ecw
Yay for suck sensor! I mean really. It sucked ass big time. Full of screaming, bad stereotyping, squash matches, Michael Cole sucking, screeching, Cena…you know. The normal suckage.
I can only watch SD online since we dont get the good wrestling channel.
ECW is a good show. I hate Zack Ryder but from an overall standpoint, it usually has the perfect balance.
CC and SB will own TLC. Just you wait.
sorry i forgot alot of people dont get mynetwork……and yeah ecw is awesome not ecw the way i remember it but im not going to rant about that….and ps zack ryder is just like every other douchebag from long island the stereotype is spot on
AWESOME INNER CHILD RANT, T.W.Diva! Kinda’ how i’ve felt about Raw for weeks! Alas, My commitment to BOYCOTT RAW only lasted about 2 weeks and i found myself checking in 2 see what might have CHANGED! i’m AN ADDICT! ADDICTION IS INSANITY! and BY DEFINITION, INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN, EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS! and isn’t that what we do? i know i do. i get mad enough 2 stay away a little while, but have ALWAYS TUNED BACK IN EXPECTING IT 2 BE DIFFERENT!
u know what? it ALMOST NEVER is…
Ha Ha I understand. I have gone for weeks w/o watching Raw but it’s really hard when you don’t have anything else to watch. For instance, since Dancing w/ the Stars is over, I have nothing to watch on Mondays if Raw sucks. I only watch certain NFL teams so when it’s over I’m screwed.
And I used to be an addict. I think ZZ Top cured my addiction.
Alas, MS. T, addiction CANNOT BE CURED! Only Arrested and Treated! But just like us (if/when we get “arrested”) our ADDICTION can also “MAKE BAIL” and we may find ourselves sitting (dumbfounded)in front of our televisions, watching DX WHORE THEMSELVES, John Cena do his updated (SUPER MARINE/ K-FED-POP-HIP-HOP) impression of Hogan, hornswaggle (or a NON-WRESTLING guesthost of VKM’s choosing) PINNING a GUERRERO, and ANYONE With skin pigmentation beyond “FAKE TAN” being portrayed as UNEDUCATED STREET THUGS, All the while wondering how we found ourselves here (yet again)… Our clothing disheveled, surrounded by junkfood, and drooling… We collect ourselves and say, “i’ve had enough!” AND “Never Again!” BUT IT RARELY (IF EVER) STICKS!
SOUND FAMILIAR? WELCOME 2 ADDICTION!
It’s a conspiracy dammit!..:)
Well,Jericho really is a Lionheart!
I really liked Carlito’s promo…
Ahh me too:D
I agree that Raw has been struggling lately, but it is their own doing. Raw, for years, has been nothing but pushing the big names and pay-per-views. They even talk about the big names and PPV’s during the lesser matches when they should be growing talent.
You were wondering why you don’t like Cena? That’s easy. Cena is nothing but a cross between Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan. He has the attitude and fire like Austin, while having the charisma and lack of wrestling holds like Hogan. Honestly, he only uses a few actual moves! (Maybe only one or two more than Lex Luger ever used.) If Cena could only learn the Leg Drop, he would be complete.
DX is a joke!! The sad part of DX is that they are well known for a reputation that was built by others. All of the hijinks and great memories of DX are from the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac. DX was Can’t Miss every week years ago, but are a shell of themselves now. But hey, they have glowsticks now!!!
The Divas would be worth watching if they had a monster of a woman to deal with. An Awesome Kong type wrestler would give some credibility to the division. I like the hot Divas as much as anyone, but they all are great-looking. No individuality.
Raw has a ways to go to being back to the level that it had in the past. I like the way they are beginning to push the younger talent to the front. It’s good to see Kingston get into a serious storyline. The Miz is a perfect United States Champ. The whole Shaemus thing might be too quick of a push, but i think he will not disappoint.
I know. DX…I know it would be hard for DX to actually BE DX considering Shawn can’t or won’t do some of the crazy shit he’s done in the past which is cool. While some people hated DX circa 2006 when they feuded with the McMahons for some reason they didn’t seem as bad as the DX now. I mean, I actually enjoyed the pranks they played on Vince. Plus, Vince has this natural evil about him so he’s fun to hate. PG DX hasn’t had any real feuds since Legacy. The Jerishow one…I’m not buying into it much like the warped story against Cena. Shawn made me interested in the match. Hunter kept it interesting. Cena winning = failz. I love both Hunter and Shawn but I’m really fed up with DX right now. They have way too many limitations now.
I don’t have much to say about the Divas. They still suck and will continue to suck unless given time to actually wrestle.
Miz is good. Sheamus is good but I’m still waiting to see that match. For some reason I’m starting to think that the entire locker room’s gonna beat the hell out of Cena soon. And you know what? Thats probably the only way he can be stopped. -_-
Cena = Austin + Hogan – Leg Drop. O.O Damn. What a combo!
haha. yeah, maryse replacing lacy von erich is like a super upgrade. still cant use mic skills but better wrestling skills.