WWE Superstars Showcase

Credit: TWD Media

Today’s WWE Superstars begins with a match from the Raw side of things. Santino Marella is facing off against Chavo. Okay. So since I don’t think this match is worth my time, I am going to sing WWE theme songs in my head.

“I hear voices crying…I see terror rising…”

“I think I’m hot…I’ll make you shiver…your knees get weak…whenever I’m around…”

We are reminded by Michael Cole that Hornswoggle is being sued by DX. Shut up, Cole! Did you know that fans from all over the world, from over 100 different countries attended WM25? Wow. That’s a lot.

“Bow down to the, bow down to the king…”

“It’s all about the game and how you play it…”

“I’m all grown up…yeah…oooo…”

“No chance…no chance in hell!”

The Cobra? That thing Santino does with his hand has a name? Looks like Chavo is back in control and…never mind. Santino wins…with a small package.

Winner: Santino via Pinfall

Match Rating: None. I wasn’t paying attention.

Time for Ask the…nope. Not tonight. Not ever.

Commercial break!

Jack Swagger is making his way to the ring. Damn it all. You mean to tell me I got to sit through another King and Cole special? Back to my theme songs.

“Yeah! We’re priceless…”

And he’s facing Primo Colon. “These two superstars have developed quite the rivalry lately.”— Michael Cole

Really? I hadn’t noticed.

Flying head-scissors from Primo…these two are really back and forth now. Guess I’ll start paying attention. Swagger’s looking good tonight. Of course, the crowd doesn’t think so since they’re practically booing him out of the building.  He has Primo in an abdominal stretch while the crowd is cheering Primo on…finally. Swagger finally lets him up then gives him a nice belly to back suplex. The tables quickly turn now that…never mind. A gutwrench power bomb. Damn. Primo you try to do too much son.

Winner: Swagger via Pinfall

Match Rating: ** 1/2 stars. Swagger owned the match for the most part and he looks GREAT. Title shot soon? Oh and he’s apparently still undefeated.

Monday Night Raw recap is being shown. Ozzy was pretty good.

Commercial break!

Did you know John Cena has time to grant over 100 wishes despite the fact that he’s champ? He’s definitely super human.

Paul Burchill is making his way to the ring with his sister Katie Lea. Tonight he’s taking on  Tyler Reks who actually gets a pop of some sort. It should be louder considering I think he’s good in the ring. A hard right from Tyler sends Burchill to his knees and into a head lock. Burchill takes over by throwing Reks into the ropes. Man…I blinked.

Winner: Burchil wins via Pinfall

Match Rating: * star. Too damn short.

Commercial break!

Smackdown recap…aka The Great Betrayal…I still laugh. Dave’s good at being bad. Take that however you like.

The Best in the World at What He Does is making his way to the ring. I don’t care who he insulted lately. He’s the greatest right now.

Commercial break! <—LOL

Credit: WWE

Jericho, the Mental Mastermind. Striker’s gold sometimes. Jericho will take on Finlay which means I’m paying attention. Jericho runs out of the ring instead of hooking up in the ring with Finlay. Nice playing the coward Chris. Now they are shoving each other until Finlay throws Chris in the corner. Apparently this is a big preparation…wait. Jericho was trained in the Hart Family Dungeon? O.O I am convinced Matt Striker knows everything.

The two are now rolling around the ring trying to get the pin on one another. Jericho attempts The Walls of Jericho but Finlay gets out of it. One of these days he’ll actually make someone tap out. Jericho pushes Finlay out of the ring taking us to our next…

Commercial break! <— “You son of a b****!”—Jericho

And we’re back. Jericho has Finlay locked in a rest hold. Finlay manages to get up but Jericho hits a perfect enziguri. Vintage Jericho as he smacks Finlay around while talking smack. Looks like Finlay may be hurt. He has a limp and its probably due to his attack by my new love Drew McIntyre. “Look into the eyes of The Mastermind Chris Jericho.” I love it Striker! I might have to start using it.

Jericho is signaling for…never mind. A clothesline from Finlay sends Jericho flailing to the mat. A Dragon Sleeper is now being applied to Finlay. Damn. Jericho has quite a few submission holds. Very nice. Finlay tried to apply the Celtic Cross again but Jericho grabs the ropes and lands a Codebreaker for the win.

Winner: Jericho via Pinfall

Match Rating: *** 1/2 Stars. Great job guys!

***Quick Version***

1) Santino d. Chavo

2) Jack Swagger d. Primo Colon

3) Paul Burchil d. Tyler Reks

4) Chris Jericho d. Finlay

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