Igniting Upon Impact: Mediocrity Runs Wild, Hogan Causes Headaches, Hungry Like a Wolfe

In its most average weekly television broadcast in quite some time, Total Nonstop Action Wrestling failed to deliver a captivating and compelling show Thursday.

The show broke a streak lasting several weeks, months even, of giving fans shows filled with logical booking and quality wrestling.

Thursday’s show seemed to be filled with post-match beatdowns and attempts at building hype for video of a press conference showing all over the Internet for the past 48 hours rather than continuing it’s upward climb of progress.

The best parts of the show, however, did manage to focus on the two main programs leading into November’s Turning Point pay-per-view.

Tensions flared between TNA World Heavyweight Champion A.J. Styles and his top contenders Christopher Daniels and Samoa Joe.

Joe attempted to brew up trouble, trying to convince Styles it was his friend Daniels who attacked him in the parking lot last week.

When Daniels tried to defend himself to Styles, Styles didn’t give Daniels the response he wanted, leading Daniels to seek out Joe himself.

All three succeeded in delivering promos this week, and Joe showed more character and positive prospect than he has since his last world title reign.

This storyline’s exposure on this week’s show ended with Styles being discovered in the backstage hallways, attacked and bleeding, being tended to by medical staff.

The other major story angle for Turning Point involves TNA newcomer Desmond Wolfe, known as Nigel McGuinness in Ring of Honor Wrestling, and Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle.

Wolfe opened his first Impact show with style, as he explained his attack last week on Angle, saying he’s arrived in TNA to dominate the competition and to become a champion.

Angle interfered and challenged Wolfe to a match later in the evening, offering TNA fans their first look at the former ROH World Champion in action within the confines of the six-sided ring.

That match featured some solid offense from Wolfe and cemented his place as a future star in TNA, as he won the match as Angle was left unable to compete by a wicked clothesline.

Wolfe has really proven his worth in only two weeks with TNA, and hopefully the company continues to push him hard and help make him a legendary star of this generation.

As for Angle, the fans seem to have really gotten behind his babyface turn, and that, too, can be partially credited to Wolfe for his ability to make the fans care about the former world champion, who was previously one of the most hated heels in the industry.

This program may be the hottest in TNA today, and the match these two are sure to have at Turning Point may very well steal the show from the triple threat world title match.

Hogan Headache

From the opening moments of the show, viewers were treated to an honestly countless amount of mentions of the news that wrestling legend Hulk Hogan had signed with TNA.

Yes, this news is huge for the company, but the announcements and the treatment of the issue by the commentators were enough to make one’s head hurt… seriously.

Mike Tenay stated early on that the news broke after Impact was taped. Huh? But, Mike, aren’t you doing commentary live on this show? Why are you and Taz sitting at ringside acting like you’re talking? How are you saying the news broke AFTER what’s going on right now?

Then Taz said both commentators were just as surprised by the news, and that they didn’t learn about the acquisition until it was announced at the press conference. But, again, aren’t you talking about the future?

My head is starting to hurt…

Then, as the show continues, both commentators talk about how the news has been all over the Internet and television. But, at the same time, they keep talking about how the production team is working on putting the tapes together as they speak.

Where’s my aspirin? I really need some aspirin.

Didn’t anyone do the math on this commentary? Did no one have the common sense to realize this makes no sense? Trying to figure out the answer just makes my head hurt even more.

All this to end the broadcast with about three minutes of public relations nonsense that has circulating the Internet all week? Oh boy.

First a special three hour Impact follows an epic television time limit draw between Styles and Angles two weeks ago with an hour of commercials, and now this press conference video ends a show that should have ended with Angle being stretchered out and Wolfe standing tall in the ring?

Coming from TNA’s biggest defender, this may be a shock, but there’s only one word to describe this whole debacle: ridiculous.

Gold Goes Global

World Elite leader Eric Young was set to face “The Boss” Bobby Lashley in his first defense of the TNA Legends Championship.

The match didn’t last long, however, as Scott Steiner attacked Lashley in response to an encounter last week that began after Steiner put his hands on Lashley’s wife, former World Wrestling diva Kristal Marshall.

Steiner ended up hitting Lashley with a chair, allowing Young to retain his title belt while leaving Lashley knocked out on the mat.

After the match, Young was joined by the rest of his World Elite cronies, all donning matching track suits except for Homicide, who wore his usual ring attire.

Brutus Magnus announced The British Invasion had been suspended without pay until Turning Point because he punched a referee last week.

However, they had their last title defense against Beer Money, if that stipulation holds, and were considering this break a “vacation.”

Magnus gave Young the mic so the World Elite captain could make his “earth shattering” announcement he promised last week.

Taking the mic, Young made the announcement fans have been waiting months to hear: the Legends Championship is officially dead.

But rising from the ashes comes the TNA Global Championship, which Young said he won’t defend against an American or on U.S. soil because the American fans don’t deserve to have him as a champion.

But it didn’t take long for Kevin Nash to emerge and rain of Young’s parade, as he declared his quest for vengeance against Young.

From behind, Beer Money attacked the World Elite as Nash stood on the entrance ramp smiling.

The name of Young’s redefined title makes it seem a more legitimate title, on par with the Intercontinental Championship, but it will be interesting to see how TNA moves forward with the stipulations Young has set.

How long will be it until fans are treated to a PPV from Canada or a match on a float floating in “international waters.” Could it also be possible Young will lose the belt when TNA tours the United Kingdom and Australia early next year?

Quick Hits

-Abyss and Dr. Stevie had a decent hardcore match for as short as it was. The match was brutal and ended with an Abyss victory, though Stevie continued to assault “The Monster” after the match. Mick Foley came to the ring, seemingly to help Stevie, but instead turned on the doctor, laying him out with a kendo stick. Another Foley turn? Seriously. I didn’t think anything could make my head hurt more than all the Hogan hype, but this is just getting out of hand. And people predict it will worse when Hogan and Eric Bischoff start working full-time? Please say it isn’t so.

-Rhino tried to convince Team 3D that TNA is pushing the old guys down and giving their spots to the young guys, including Hernandez and his opponent for this week, Matt Morgan. Brother Ray tells Rhino he’s got his own little conspiracy theory going on. Maybe the ECW original should call former pro wrestler Jesse Ventura to help investigate.

-A match between Team 3D and the Motor City Machineguns that could have been a great match had to be cut short after Chris Sabin suffered a serious, legitimate neck injury a fall. Alex Shelley was left to compete in a handicap match that saw an anti-climactic ending where Brother D’Von questionably tapped to a Boston Crab. It seems like Team 3D may be headed for a heel turn, sharing sentiments with Rhino. Where would this leave the unfinished Jesse Neal angle, since Team 3D are supposed to be training him to come back against Rhino?

-Rhino and Matt Morgan wrestled an average match that saw Rhino have control for most the match. Morgan won, but in the running gimmick of the night (no, not the confusing Hogan debacle this time), there was a post-match assault and a run-in save, this time by Hernandez.

-Tara and Alissa Flash had a decent little match that ended with a Tara victory. This two women are comparable in size and ability, and this match was only a tease of what they could do given time, build and a full-blown program. After the match, Awesome Kong attacked Tara and delivered an Implant Buster onto a downed Flash.

-The Beautiful People defeated TNA Knockouts Champion ODB, Christy Hemme and Hamada in a six-woman tag. There’s not much to say about this match except that Lacey von Erich hit about two moves, earned the pinfall over Hemme and looked horrible doing all of it. Many thought it couldn’t get worse that “the claw,” but that attempt at a chokeslam that ended the match was a close contender for worst-looking finisher of the year. Angelina Love, come back please. I’ll volunteer to take one for the team and marry you so you can be a U.S. citizen.

-After the match, Kong hit the ring (yes, again) but was jumped by Tara. Mike Tenay even mentioned we hadn’t seen Kong for the past half hour (since she made her lasy post-match attack). Who knew a non-champion knockout was supposed to be shown live every half an hour. Wouldn’t it be nice if world champions actually got this kind of treatment.

Match Rundown

Tara d. Alissa Flash
Motor City Machineguns d. Team 3D
Bobby Lashley wrestled Eric Young to a no contest after interference; Young retains the Legends Championship
The Beautiful People d. ODB, Christy Hemme and Hamada
Abyss d. Dr. Stevie in a no disqualification match
Matt Morgan d. Rhino
Desmond Wolfe d. Kurt Angle by leaving him unable to compete